Category: Transformation
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On Life: As it is now
It’s been a while since I’ve felt the need to post anything here. I’ve had ideas come to mind but they’ve been fleeting. I used to only feel the need to write when things were bad or difficult and lately things have been very good! I want to bring balance to my writing and so…
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Rough Month
May isn’t my favorite month. Between Mother’s Day, mom’s birthday and then dad’s birthday a few days later I tend to withdraw and kind of shutdown, or that’s what I’ve done the last 2 years. This year is different though. The sadness is still there but I’ve learned to acknowledge it and to sit with…
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Mother’s Day
This will be the 2nd Mother’s Day since mom died. She wasn’t the biggest fan of the holiday, or so she said, but the few times I forgot I could tell it affected her. From then on I did my best to at least get her a card and/or a plant even when I wasn’t…
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On Being Emotional
I’m an emotional guy and I was a very emotional child because I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and the adults around me growing up didn’t always know how to handle me feeling things. So I turned off my emotions and kept them off for a very long time. This impacted every relationship…
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Expecting … Nothing
My anxiety shows up as trying to map every possible outcome of every decision I make. Meeting up with friends? I have to look at the route to the place we’re meeting, the parking situation, the possible conversation topics and plan out potential replies. When it’s time to go do the thing I’m so exhausted…
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Good Things
It’s been a good week! That’s really all I have to say right now! 🙂
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In A Rut
I’m stuck. My creative wheels are spinning and I’m not making any progress. I made my first “real” Youtube video almost 2 months ago and while I have ideas for more I haven’t taken any action to turn them into a reality. Every day that passes I beat myself for not taking even a single…
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Life Changes
I keep thinking and writing about making changes in my life but I don’t do them. I know making big changes isn’t good for me even though it has worked out ok in the past. I feel like I have too much at risk if it’s the wrong decision. If I’m being perfectly honest I…
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Uninspired
I’ve been pretty uninspired in my day to day life for the past month or so. Everything has a dull tone to it, even things I regularly enjoy. These feelings come and go with me and have for many, many years. I have clinical depression and I’m not currently on any type of medication for…
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Accountability III
Things have been going pretty well on all fronts for me. I’m happy and terrified at that. Mostly because I’ve started really strong on various things and then, inevitably I drop off. That’s what I’m currently waiting for, the drop off. I don’t like feeling that way but it’s been such a constant thing for…
My Journey 