Caffeine and Journals

si vis vitam experiri, para ad mortem

  • Poetry

    I’ve written about my love for a good quote and over the years that love has turned towards poetry. First, just reading or listening to it as it popped up in my day to day and now to seeking it out. I’ve found so many wonderful poets whose words have inspired me, made me smile,…

  • Expecting … Nothing

    My anxiety shows up as trying to map every possible outcome of every decision I make. Meeting up with friends? I have to look at the route to the place we’re meeting, the parking situation, the possible conversation topics and plan out potential replies. When it’s time to go do the thing I’m so exhausted…

  • Good Things

    It’s been a good week! That’s really all I have to say right now! 🙂

  • Mocking

    Every word of praise from you,Felt mocking. You always asked me why I stopped,Whenever you noticed me trying. That’s Why.

  • A Moment

    I was out looking for something in my shop this morning and had a bit of a moment. I saw this old leather conditioner that was in my dad’s shoe shine kit. I remember it being there for as far back as I can remember so I’m pretty sure it’s at least as old as…

  • avoidance

    I avoid feelingBecause it’s uncomfortable And I’m afraidBecause I don’t know how to deal withEmotionsIf I allow them to flood in.I don’t feel the emotion, So I can’t even name itBut I do feel it as a simple, primal commandRUN!RUN!!So I doI pick up this distraction deviceAnd disappear for hoursBrain off,Scrolling.Scrolling..Scrolling…When I take a look…

  • I watch, but I don’t

    I watch YouTube videos every day and every day I want to create a video and every day I don’t I have multiple ideas, even multiple scripts But I don’t I hate the way I lookI hate the way I soundI don’t have enough timeI’m not creative enoughI’m too oldI’m too dumbPeople that I don’t…

  • Reclaiming My Time

    I’ve been spending too much time doom/rage/mindlessly scrolling on social media. Today I finished The Chaos Machine by Max Fisher and even before I finished it I was cutting back on social media. It’s a well written, meticulously sourced book and left me feeling pretty bad about the amount of time and energy I put…

  • Frozen in time

    We had snow this week and I wanted a snowflake pic but didn’t have the energy to break out the big camera so I tried to get one with my phone. This snowflake only exists here now. I love this shot!

  • Today

    Today I walked Today I ranToday I laughedToday I interacted with others Today I did those thingsbecause I couldbecause tomorrow, I might not.

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