Tag: depression
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Blocked
I’ve gone quiet here. Because I don’t know what to say. My brain reels trying to take in everything that’s happening in my life, in the world and turn it into something, anything. And I can’t. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m frustrated and all the other bad feelings that I can’t think of right now.…
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Rough Month
May isn’t my favorite month. Between Mother’s Day, mom’s birthday and then dad’s birthday a few days later I tend to withdraw and kind of shutdown, or that’s what I’ve done the last 2 years. This year is different though. The sadness is still there but I’ve learned to acknowledge it and to sit with…
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Mother’s Day
This will be the 2nd Mother’s Day since mom died. She wasn’t the biggest fan of the holiday, or so she said, but the few times I forgot I could tell it affected her. From then on I did my best to at least get her a card and/or a plant even when I wasn’t…
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New year, Same Me??
The grind begins again. Another year where I say that I will make changes, but will this be another year, like all the past ones, that I don’t? I hope not. This will be the second year since Mom died, and I still feel as rudderless as I did in the months after she died.…
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Uninspired
I’ve been pretty uninspired in my day to day life for the past month or so. Everything has a dull tone to it, even things I regularly enjoy. These feelings come and go with me and have for many, many years. I have clinical depression and I’m not currently on any type of medication for…
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Goings On
End of July and pretty much the entire month of August was a pretty rough stretch for me. July marked a one year anniversary of my mom’s death and then my birthday was at the end of August. I suppose that I am officially in my “late 40’s” which is not a thought that brings…
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Accountability I
I think that’s what I’m missing. I can’t seem to hold myself accountable so I’ve asked a few friends to help me. I also signed up for some personal training sessions at my local gym. I enjoy working out but the hardest thing is getting there. Knowing that someone is there waiting for me, and…
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Don’t Feed The Beast
May is mental health awareness month, so let’s talk about it. In case you missed it in my previous posts, I have mental health issues. Mainly depression and anxiety. In the past I have taken medication for my depression but the side effects really outweighed any benefits so I stopped taking them. I’m currently back…
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The Inertia of Life
I envy those who seemingly make big life decisions with ease. There’s things I want to do, places I want to go and I just can’t seem to make them happen. I tell myself I should “just do it” but then talk myself out of whatever it was and I’m inevitably disappointed and regret not…
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Procrastination
This is me writing a post, probably about nothing, because I’ve been putting off blogging since earlier this year. I don’t know why I avoid doing things that I know will make me happy(ier). It’s a very bad habit that despite being fully aware of I still do. When I’m not actively thinking about something…
My Journey 