Overthinking, Over Analyzing

I continue to be stuck in this loop of thinking about big life decisions, planning out how to implement them, getting discouraged, getting depressed, giving up and then restarting the whole process.

I’m afraid. I’m afraid to make the wrong decision or mess up the right decision so I don’t make any decision which is so much worse for my mental health. I know this about me and I still do it.

I think about big things like getting older and not being able to do these things I want to do and I’m even more afraid.

I think about what comes after this life. I would love to write more about my beliefs and one day I will. I don’t believe in the traditional god, heaven, hell etc but I do believe that our souls, our energy, is eternal and that there is something after this physical life.

I think about the life that I want and the relationships I want and I’m afraid to put myself out there because I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want to hurt anyone else or let anyone down.

I think about these things so much that I give myself migraines and other physical symptoms.

I feel like my worst enemy is me.