Category: Anxiety
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So Hard
Why is it so hard to believe in myself? I’m laying here at almost midnight and my brain is running through all the ways I can fail both profesionally and personally. That in and of itself isn’t a new thing for me. Most nights I have those thoughts, hell, most days I have to those…
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Rough
It’s been a rough few months. I don’t know if I’m back to posting regularly on here or not. I’ve been in survival mode and now I feel like I’m starting to come out of it I don’t want to jump back hard and heavy into anything and get overwhelmed again. I call the last…
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Mother’s Day
This will be the 2nd Mother’s Day since mom died. She wasn’t the biggest fan of the holiday, or so she said, but the few times I forgot I could tell it affected her. From then on I did my best to at least get her a card and/or a plant even when I wasn’t…
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New year, Same Me??
The grind begins again. Another year where I say that I will make changes, but will this be another year, like all the past ones, that I don’t? I hope not. This will be the second year since Mom died, and I still feel as rudderless as I did in the months after she died.…
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In A Rut
I’m stuck. My creative wheels are spinning and I’m not making any progress. I made my first “real” Youtube video almost 2 months ago and while I have ideas for more I haven’t taken any action to turn them into a reality. Every day that passes I beat myself for not taking even a single…
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Uninspired
I’ve been pretty uninspired in my day to day life for the past month or so. Everything has a dull tone to it, even things I regularly enjoy. These feelings come and go with me and have for many, many years. I have clinical depression and I’m not currently on any type of medication for…
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Goings On
End of July and pretty much the entire month of August was a pretty rough stretch for me. July marked a one year anniversary of my mom’s death and then my birthday was at the end of August. I suppose that I am officially in my “late 40’s” which is not a thought that brings…
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Distractions From The Outside World
The world is ever shifting and it seems daily we’re living in new unprecedented times. Personally, I’m so tired of the constant news cycle with one story being worse than the last. Everyone is so on edge, myself included. I’ve taken a step back from all social media sites and that’s definitely helped. I’ve also…
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Just Start
I’ve dreamed of making videos for almost 9 years. Back in 2017 I started a YouTube channel about motorcycles and created a few motovlogs because that was the “hot” thing back then. Then, I stopped and never did it again. I really enjoyed the entire process that went into creating a video and posting it…
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Accountability II
I think it makes sense for me to make these accountability posts a series. Updating weekly feels very doable to me. In my last accountability post I laid out a few things I was doing. So far they’ve been working. The meal prep service is great and the food is delicious. I didn’t go to…
My Journey 