Category: writing
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So Hard
Why is it so hard to believe in myself? I’m laying here at almost midnight and my brain is running through all the ways I can fail both profesionally and personally. That in and of itself isn’t a new thing for me. Most nights I have those thoughts, hell, most days I have to those…
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Rough
It’s been a rough few months. I don’t know if I’m back to posting regularly on here or not. I’ve been in survival mode and now I feel like I’m starting to come out of it I don’t want to jump back hard and heavy into anything and get overwhelmed again. I call the last…
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Blocked
I’ve gone quiet here. Because I don’t know what to say. My brain reels trying to take in everything that’s happening in my life, in the world and turn it into something, anything. And I can’t. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m frustrated and all the other bad feelings that I can’t think of right now.…
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Finding the Time
Lately I’ve found myself struggling to manage my time. Life has been busy, fulfilling, but definitely busy so finding time to spend time with my partner, get things done around the house, tend to my own mental health and just time to do nothing has been a struggle. I’ve gone from having to just manage…
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20 Seconds Of Courage
You walk in, my breath runs out20 seconds of courage, i tell myself I stand up, vision darkens, please don’t pass out19 seconds of courage, i tell myselfI can do this, you’re just another person18 seconds of courage, i tell myself Just remember, we’ve been practicing this17 seconds of courage, i tell myself Left foot…
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Rough Month
May isn’t my favorite month. Between Mother’s Day, mom’s birthday and then dad’s birthday a few days later I tend to withdraw and kind of shutdown, or that’s what I’ve done the last 2 years. This year is different though. The sadness is still there but I’ve learned to acknowledge it and to sit with…
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Mother’s Day
This will be the 2nd Mother’s Day since mom died. She wasn’t the biggest fan of the holiday, or so she said, but the few times I forgot I could tell it affected her. From then on I did my best to at least get her a card and/or a plant even when I wasn’t…
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On Being Emotional
I’m an emotional guy and I was a very emotional child because I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and the adults around me growing up didn’t always know how to handle me feeling things. So I turned off my emotions and kept them off for a very long time. This impacted every relationship…
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Do You Believe In Signs?
Do you think stop signs are real? J/k. That’s not the type of signs I’m talking about. I’m thinking about signs from the Universe/God(s)/Higher Power/etc Lately my life has been a whirlwind wind of new experiences, new feelings and an amazing new person! All of these experiences have, of course, raised some concerns, doubts and…
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Sonder
I remember flying home for my dad’s funeral and looking out into the darkness and seeing all the headlights and lights from houses and wondering what the people behind those lights were going through. Were they having the best day of their lives? The worst? Or maybe somewhere in between? That feeling stuck with me…
My Journey 