Tag: Anxiety
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So Hard
Why is it so hard to believe in myself? I’m laying here at almost midnight and my brain is running through all the ways I can fail both profesionally and personally. That in and of itself isn’t a new thing for me. Most nights I have those thoughts, hell, most days I have to those…
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Rough
It’s been a rough few months. I don’t know if I’m back to posting regularly on here or not. I’ve been in survival mode and now I feel like I’m starting to come out of it I don’t want to jump back hard and heavy into anything and get overwhelmed again. I call the last…
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Blocked
I’ve gone quiet here. Because I don’t know what to say. My brain reels trying to take in everything that’s happening in my life, in the world and turn it into something, anything. And I can’t. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m frustrated and all the other bad feelings that I can’t think of right now.…
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The Power of Words
I’ve written about getting seriously into poetry earlier this year and it all started with a book by Iain S. Thomas called Everything You Cannot Say. I randomly picked up this book at a new local bookstore called Blackbird Coffee and Books and before I knew it I was over halfway through it and had…
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Mother’s Day
This will be the 2nd Mother’s Day since mom died. She wasn’t the biggest fan of the holiday, or so she said, but the few times I forgot I could tell it affected her. From then on I did my best to at least get her a card and/or a plant even when I wasn’t…
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New year, Same Me??
The grind begins again. Another year where I say that I will make changes, but will this be another year, like all the past ones, that I don’t? I hope not. This will be the second year since Mom died, and I still feel as rudderless as I did in the months after she died.…
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In A Rut
I’m stuck. My creative wheels are spinning and I’m not making any progress. I made my first “real” Youtube video almost 2 months ago and while I have ideas for more I haven’t taken any action to turn them into a reality. Every day that passes I beat myself for not taking even a single…
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Uninspired
I’ve been pretty uninspired in my day to day life for the past month or so. Everything has a dull tone to it, even things I regularly enjoy. These feelings come and go with me and have for many, many years. I have clinical depression and I’m not currently on any type of medication for…
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Goings On
End of July and pretty much the entire month of August was a pretty rough stretch for me. July marked a one year anniversary of my mom’s death and then my birthday was at the end of August. I suppose that I am officially in my “late 40’s” which is not a thought that brings…
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Distractions From The Outside World
The world is ever shifting and it seems daily we’re living in new unprecedented times. Personally, I’m so tired of the constant news cycle with one story being worse than the last. Everyone is so on edge, myself included. I’ve taken a step back from all social media sites and that’s definitely helped. I’ve also…
My Journey 